Addressing what happens to children and women, in human trafficking. What is the national outcome and has it affected me? Do I feel as thought, people’s principal’s and values are being devalued?
This is a reflection of grate magnitude. If you have anymore questions, add them on the comments box and I will add them to a part 2. I think, the weird and wonderful ways of coming out with solutions, can be, prevention. It could help some men and women overcome their problems.
Why have you not written for so long?
Good question, something no one has asked me in reality.
Maybe, I thought it was not helping! Perhaps, I thought there was too much happening; in turn this affected the way, I perceived life; the subject, also made me feel helpless. Maybe, I was distracted by things which could help me, not focus on the things, which happened. Perhaps, the media makes it difficult for the average person to think the worst; the news is always, contradicted by reality TV. Maybe, we all want to feel safe? Hence the reason why, we watch Netflix and chill: shut the world out.
So many possibilities, it is hard to think of a solution. As it has been decades of the same occurring thing. The resolution is never simple and people just want a quick fix sometimes.
What really is making you feel devalued?
I would not say I am, a feminist. I feel empathy for men on so many aspects.
At the moment, their behavior is a little bit strange for these times.
The men I have met so far, seem as though, they do not see a woman being on her own as something dangerous; nor, do they appear to be, concerned about the welfare and well-being of women in general. These are men between the ages of 30 -40, in the Oslo area.
They appear to be more materialistic than, I thought they would be. Very much an inclusive thing. The way in which these men have relationships, is that the women stay at home and clean; they go out and drink. Or, they blame women for not letting them have their own good fun.
All very immature for someone of their age group, to be honest with you. It does make you feel devalued, topped up with a feeling of mistrust.
I am merely concerned by the lack of their interest, in actual problems. Like child trafficking and women trafficking. A very distasteful subject to discuss, at the dinner table, or at the pub, or concert with friends.
The media and social media, has too many of these overly sexual people, searching for the perfect relationship and there is tinder, men and women just cannot really connect to a valuable relationship. They cannot find confidence in themselves to talk about reality. It is rather, nerve racking when you think about it.
Is there a possibility, people will be able to communicate their feelings on the subject in the future?
I think it is too raw, and somewhat, unimaginable things have happened to these young women and children.
You would not want it to happen to you, neither to the people around you; or to any of your friends for that matter.
Comforting them would be a problem because you would find it very difficult to live your life in what feels like a conflict zone. Every where you look there is a problem; with no solution of where to start; or how to fix it; everyone is affected.
The scale of this is so huge it is quite astonishing.
Every time, I hear a new story, I display the 7 stages of grief because, my emotions need to be expressed.
To imagine myself in a situation where, I was not able to convey myself freely, or express dissatisfaction; would turn me into a zombie. I would be rendered: useless.
Yet, there are hate speech laws and ways to prevent people from discussing something so, raw.
I would just be too numb and paralyzed to do anything useful. It is amazing how some of these families were able to find some hope in their communities.
Most of them haven’t, they needed outside encouragement. To correlate the lengths of desperation, and hopelessness these people felt. It only makes me cry more and more.
From your perspective why have the men, that have been materialistic, shown they cannot be bothered?
I really, have challenged my own ideologies!
I have been submissive, even, when I do not think I should. Inside, I may be furious, outside, I show a stone cold face. I do as I am told, probably out of fear sometime. So, I would not just, say blatantly these men are not bothered.
They end up buying things that have no value.
Loving someone is valuable. Treating people as good as you want to be treated.
We have lost that moment. It is now feeling like it is being robbed. This is without, mentioning the foreboding topic. Even before, we even find out a materialistic man has a past. He is just buying stuff to fill his emptiness.
I would say, they have disliked parts of their lives, which, have not worked well for them.
Giving the men, the benefit of the doubt here, as in to suggest there is nothing wrong in the first place, to reduce conflict. However, I see them as overwhelmed . Only some of them, because they know, what it is like to be bullied by the predators.
So you think, “passive aggressive” , is a terminology people misuse without giving a person a chance to speak?
Yes, because you are judging a person before, they’ve opened their mouths.
I feel as though people, have other symptoms of behavior patterns and other problems to them, which delays their cognitive responses and their behavioral responses.
As I admitted I am submissive. I may have been under-duress. Just reflecting back, I do feel as though. I have been put under so much pressure by these sort of predators.
An abuser of any kind, tells you all sorts of horrible things. The negativity lasts for a long time. They may not have great words of wisdom to tell a young person, as, they just want control.
Picture yourself in a situation where, you just took control of a situation. Your ego is going to be so immensely huge; you will put down the victim and make the victims family believe that it is all the victims fault. You will do everything in your power, to crush that persons, spirit, confidence and even, prevent them from thinking about the future.
As a victim, you end up going with it because you want to avoid conflict. It does not make you passive aggressive. It just makes you feel helpless, furthermore, through your vulnerability; worried and unable to convey the message, even though you displayed to others, you needed help.
I really do not think people whom have been through so much, should not be around people whom are into themselves. It is like an internal clock waiting to tick as people really do need attention and affection. If a person, does display selfishness, they will just leave. Say they want time out.
A victim needs support; positive, but not negative. They need reassurance and they need to feel, some sense of self-worth.
It takes a lot of people to help a person be better. A lot of positive people. I have been as real as it comes.
But these predators are not one’s that make men look good. It is sad, but, some men need to learn to extend their hand and stop being afraid. They can heal a person, more than they realize.
What advice would you give to men whom have been abused?
Immediately, do not give up and find someone to talk to. Call a helpline number and let it all out. Talking to a stranger on a phone is better than talking to someone face to face.
I understand you can feel submissive. All you want to do is push people away because the trust is gone. I have been there myself.
If you have been abused; the one thing you do not want to do, is to take it out on the next woman, who shows you, love and empathy. Or even, man! You need positive people in your life. They may have been through so much, yet you, and that person combined; makes life easier. A problem shared is a problem halved.
Try and build a future with that person, try to make it work. The main thing is focus on together goals, and working on things together.
What advice would you give to the materialistic men?
–You cannot take your stuff to the grave.
-Once you’re dead you will have nothing on this earth to remember you by, other than a stone plaque in the ground or on a wall.
-Do something memorable.
-Join a group.
I have a marvelous example, I have a buddy who is so into volunteering here. He does every activity going. He has so many friends from it. I even began to be sociable through some of these events, not all of them gave me the bonding experience, most would cherish to have, but it is a case of trial and error .
These people, always need to be around others. They will remember the great things you did for them. You can join any group you like.
Just do not sit there feeling like you need to buy the latest, and you need to cut women out.
Why are abused women, seeking relationships but ending them too soon?
The women whom are cutting you out of their lives, consider the following: compromise and stability. If you are pretty stubborn, consider being more engaging and realistic, more supportive.
Exponentially understand, friendships must be hard for a person who has witnessed that amount of abuse, indirectly or, directly. It is hard for them to trust people in certain circles. They are most likely going to shut you out, if, you do not show some form of stable future for them.
These women are not just going to be from the UK. Many are going to be from, India, South Africa, Philippines, Sweden, France, Italy and Greece. I have no official figures, this is just a reflection piece, but, the stories of abuse and rape are horrific.
Germany had the worst case of a male rape case I have ever read in my life. I was mortified. (This example is further below, it is just a newspaper clipping of the fact his parents sold him to the highest bidder.)
Read as much as you can and reflect as much as you can with friends and family. It will help you to connect to other people’s feelings.
Why does the “part and parcel to life” slogan annoy you?
Astonished is a mild word in comparison, to the reality of how devastated I am. I think, more can be done and more investigations need to happen.
The children are psychologically damaged, and if they make it to their adulthood: they are mentally scarred for life. These things are not considered as a shame in society any more.
Even if, someone shows some concern. Or, they show some sign that things are not right.
Do they follow up the problem?
Do they check on the person?
Do they make sure that a child is not hiding; or, masking things for months?
Do they put pressure on the parents?
People need to follow it up. No matter how small it seems. These days they are ignored, maybe, the demand is too much, or maybe, people just are just distracted with trivia. TV has done this to people, as the negative, is somewhat too much to deal with. However, people need the opportunity to accept these victims and the grand scale of it all.
An investigation sometimes takes years. Or, prevention takes years of social pressure.
Social pressure doesn’t mean witch hunt, it means, the media have to follow up on cases that have not even won in court. There needs to be shame and “folk devil” alerts. The pressure becomes a moral obligation, but, right now, society is not there yet.
As the media focus on the folk devils, in a manner, it does not give an opportunity for people to reflect and come out with a solution to the problem. So, this is a grand scale. People are horrified! They are still going through a process of remorse, some of them. With dismay and disbelief. 2 years on and some of these cases are now facing sentencing. Hiding from the problem and not discussing it, well, doesn’t resolve the situation.
This slogan does not help people who want to prevent this from happening, as they fall into an acceptance trap.
But, how on earth can you have a child under 10 prostituted? I am still trying to get my head around, the stories in Germany and the UK and it is the worst; German couple who sold son to paedophiles on darknet jailed, August 2018
–A child does not consent to that. I shriek.
-No way do they. Confirming my dismay at the councils in the UK and the way the German social workers have behaved, thinking a child consents to prostitution.
-They do not even know the consequences to anything.
Learning about consequences is about childhood. I mean, trial and error and the stages of learning, in general.
It is so shameful, to rob them of that innocence, then vindicate them, as though they are adults and they still live at home with their parents. They have to do what their parents say. Even if they disobey their parents , children generally, are still learning about why and it damn well depends on: their parents.
Hence, the reason why sometimes, most 5- 10 year old’s; just answer back in the most weird and wonderful ways with: innocence and pure laughter. The most you get is the odd curse word because, they are really wanting your attention. But, you just cuddle them to death because, you too were young and did not want people to take advantage of you. You wanted to have your voice heard; to choose what you wanted and you loved your parents and cartoons on TV.
I fear for my own daughters situation, because people are so wrapped up in materialism, and competition.
Will they miss something, because they had another way of solving a case too soon. Bank accounts need to be looked at, everything needs to be looked at. Everything, with a fine tooth comb.
Even when it comes to a woman, being given maintenance money. It all needs to be assessed and addressed. If there’s neglect, and a woman who has no job is being forced to pay, or a man is refusing to pay a woman, it could mean, abuse e.t.c (common sense really, but this gets ignored a lot by, too many social workers, and too many police officers)
Even allowing women to be subjected to abuse,financially, or, even just making them feel like they cannot work because, their child is a certain age. It does not help parents be parents.
Yet, this is the world we live in. It is becoming part and parcel and the “norm“, so, trust begins to diminish, thereafter falls social cohesion , no one feels safe, stable or secure. In addition to having someone abuse them, society, doesn’t support them.
It is weird how, this is being accepted and the consequences, are beginning to seem more difficult to find, a child who can convey innocence and not violence.
Can you imagine the rage that must be in that boys mind, because even if he said no, they would probably drug him. I mean, this is what happened to those girls whom were gang raped.
Imagine this, most awful example is not even able to ignite a spark in people’s minds to prevent it happening again. So it only agitates me even more, to conceive the notion of more cases around the UK and yet people are unmoved by it;not even perturbed, not even repulsed. Not even ashamed, that is happening in their country.
People in Scandinavia are not even affected, really. They keep showing love Island on the TV and other reality TV shows, which have pretty women on, and really, everyone knows this is staged and there is no connection to people. I do think they have other scientific parents and parenting styles are open and people are not sheltering their children from discussion. There was probably a generation shift, but, the girls are appropriately dressed. They are not being forced to grow up too quickly.
The problem is, here we do not get the news.
We do not hear about these things but, you can only imagine that after a period of time recycling the news, can actually make people immune to it all; behave like zombies and nothing ever happens. They begin to think the worse for themselves, and the people around them. I really, would feel overly depressed thinking, everyone is ignoring this point.
Unable to focus and unable to even show an ounce of a care about it, in certain circles. Thus, making them appear to be guilty.
I am trying to think about how, bad this has become. Decades of problems. A lot of police officers, writing on reports for girls as young as 11, as prostitutes. Without implicating the law: Statutory, or, even considering them as children. They just dismissed them. It is very unimaginable, to think about how those poor girls must have felt. No one could help them, they are damaged goods. Only to be damaged further, by a misinterpretation, or misrepresentation of whom they are. Their voice has been taken away and so has their own personality.
Do you think that political ideology has anything to do with it?
Yes and No.
We as individuals can have a moral compass. We can choose between right and wrong; yes and no; abstaining, or, can participate in debate. Take online surveys.
It is not about the morality and more about the way in which people find their purpose and needs. I feel, as though, the left do not know how to convey their message very well and agree to everything that is weird. I am okay with the wonderful parts of weird. I am okay with the transgenders, I am okay with gay people.
I am not okay with you messing with kids.
So, my message is clear. I do not hear anything about them saying they are not protecting the kids. This should be universal. They made this a law in 1948. An international law to be precise. But, yet, kids are not protected and it annoys me.
As for the right, it is the only moral condemnation thing I like about them. The rest, annoys me because you should love all people anyway, regardless. It could be a family member but all of a sudden you will abandon them, just because they are trans. It seems, a little precarious. I love people, all types of weird and wonderful people, but, just do not touch the kids: I will find a way to put you in jail.
The people whom are so wrapped up in their own identity and how they are perceived as a group or a community; are consumed by themselves; I am surprised they find the time, to give a damn about other groups of people and other associations.
What was the worst story in your recollection?
I was about 16. My friends and I would always do ridiculous walks and go to the local shops to buy junk food before, assembling (as there were more than 6 of us) around our best friends house.
I specifically remember, the lanky lad, was so loud and obnoxious, but, we accepted him and he was our friend. They picked me up at my house, before doing the routine, sweets or crisps, back to the lanky lad’s house, pretend wrestling matches and arm wrestling matches e.t.c .
When we saw, Abigail, a girl who’s a year old than me at school, wearing nothing but a large Mighty ducks jacket, as seen below. (If you know this person, please get her to go to the police.)
She was wearing nothing else, and we could see her scrawny legs. It looked like she had not been able to put, any weight on. In retrospect, I had no idea about the connection between, weight loss and drugs, until I studied later on in life. I had no, idea. I was 16 and all I saw was a twig wearing a jacket.
Her high heeled sandals on, and nothing else. There was a tun of make up on her face.
She ignored my friend, when he said, come and hang out with us. She was drugged up to the eyeballs.
We felt helpless, as she rejected our social call.
The sight of her stepping into the BMW with a group of men, with a non sobering look to her, haunted us for a while; still does; as a matter of fact, we did tell our friends mom, on the same night. She called the police.
The police replied to my friends mom, telling her, it was up to Abigail’s foster parents.
The parents put a metal guard on her windows to stop her from climbing out. She would always escape, because she was dependent on the drugs. We explained at the time to our parents, that we were concerned about her well-being.
But the police just ignored our parents calls.
The thing is, even when you are 16 years old, your innocent mind does not go there. I did not even lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. I do not know, that many people whom would want to give it up at a drop of a hat as a girl.
It just seems, a bit, terrifying that they just signed these girls lives away and said that they were consenting to a life of prostitution.
Why do you think that people cannot put themselves in a worse case scenario position?
I was young, innocent and unable to even contrive any of the things possible in sex.
It was impossible for me to even, think about losing my virginity at such a young age, I was too scared to do it. Even when I tried, I would not know what to do, in order to lose my virginity. Even though I sat through sex education. My mind was not able to go there.
I did see a lot of those true movies, growing up, where it was worse case scenario. But, you cannot put yourself in that position at first. You have to experience things and then reflect. Then after the long winded process of, internalization. Then you can think about the way in which people could be affected and effected by this.
If the case workers are not able to think about worse case scenario, then what are the other options?
They may be the nicest people in the world, as a case worker. However, you need to be able to think about the worse thing and always but the wind up your sails and do a follow up every 6 months to prevent stuff. I can’t imagine why the young boy in Germany had to endure 2 years, it frustrates me.
It just has to go to the folk devils, until the public, actually make and create things as the government slowly trickles out services. If you have social workers who are not able to think about possible outcomes and risk assess the situation. The problem is going to become systematic.
If the abusers, know they can get away with the first police call. They will just continue and they will do this until they get caught. The only thing to do is to prevent it from happening again, straight away. No rehabilitation, until they face jail time.
Do you find it more useful to write about it as opposed to speaking?
yes and no. If the subject arose in conversation, I would not dodge it.
I just find the reflection process better when I write about it.
I support people wanting to change things, however, it needs to be a conscientious collective thought. Everyone needs to be in uproar and make visual displays of dissatisfaction, or, protests.
This is not apart of the package and people are still too disconnected to talk to about it.
Unless they ask me, I cannot tell them!