Note to self:
You know you would have loved it if people supported you during your times of being abused. If only they called the police also. The questions run through my mind:
Why did no one hear me?
Why was no one there to call the police?
Why hasn’t someone stopped him from continuing his behaviour?
Why is he allowed to Psychologically plague my mind?
Why does my family condone his behaviour?
I told them my values were not the same and I tried to break up with him. He told me he would change and I believed him. If only my family could have just said -:
“Do not listen to the idiot! He will suck the life out of you! Leave! We will help you.”
I didn’t receive a reply like that. I was about to go into a refuge and get help. I couldn’t because my aunt said -:
“Don’t do it… it’s a hard road!”
So, I didn’t. I had already been hurt and I was tired and I just wanted to get away from him. No – she didn’t offer me shelter herself; she has a 5 bedroom house in London, but she also could have rented a place to me. However, I didn’t receive this kind treatment. Everytime I want to leave she became abusive or negative towards me. I absolutely did not know what to say to her and I didn’t wish to be rude; however, she just continues to do this.
One of these days she will have to respond in the correct manner towards me. Until then, I want nothing more to do with her or any other members of my family who agree to this reoccurring systematic pattern of abuse for people.
I may as well be alone. So, I called the police for a woman – shouting for help at 3 am in the morning, last week Friday. Now the man who has assulted her has been arrested and is in remand. He will be locked away because people witnessed him or heard him being abusive. It’s the little things that make the big difference in a person’s life…..
“Actions speak louder than word’s; especially tainted ill natured, bad tempered word’s – but expect the victim to feel pain and loss of their dignity; causing them to lash out.”
My friend tried to give me shelter but I fell for the “I am a changed man speech”…. I was vulnerable on my own dealing with death and a missing person. I needed help from family. There was no assistance. I lost friends pretty quickly. This is what abusive men do; they make your social circles smaller and they reduce family contact. Try to make the victim the one in the wrong – covering up he/she’s manipulative track:
“Do not talk at the victim. They do not need to be spoken at – they need to heal. They need comfort and they need support.”
So if this helps anyone. Call the police for your neighbours, your friends, your family, a person who lives in the next block. Do it! For the sake of them never having to go through systematic abuse.
Once they are at that stage and all the have is hate for the situation just think about what they are going through and how much pain they feel:
Imagine what that is doing to their self – esteem?
Imagine how it plagues their mind having being told they are not good enough? Imagine how low they feel as a person – would they talk or socialise with men much?
Would they react differently towards relationships? Really look deeply…. the answer is not in God…. the answer is on you to be a decent human being; to support and assist.
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