Explaining how the term “Narcissism” is abused, from a Weird and Wonderful Point of View.

There are a lot of readers out there whom would like me, ‘Weird and Wonderful’ to highlight, a growing uneasy trend towards misdiagnosis. This has nothing to do with feminism, or, narcissism. I feel quiet a lot of people like to focus on the wrong psycho-social crisis and neglect the most important of all, our morality. It really matters not about your religion, it matters about how much you know about morality.

It is wrong to assume certain people have mental health issues . I feel life is  based on how we are dealing with their situations and circumstances,  also how we have behaved;  all this is based on our own moral coding. As I discovered below.

Weird is it not; how people like to label people and categorise thing’s psychologically? If you really need someone to talk to about how you feel, sure see a counsellor as they are qualified to diagnose you – not family members, or ex – partners with a grudge; or anyone holding a grudge towards someone as The Real Narcissists, Rebecca Webber (2016) highlights:

“The term narcissist has been widely deployed to describe not only a passel of difficult relatives and regretted exes, but also both nominees for president and the entire generation known as Millennials. Is narcissism really so widespread or on the rise in the general population?”

This made me realise, the picture I used above to show what the tendencies of a narcissistic woman are, could have, dier consequences because people misdiagnose. Then, this is followed by people whom they diagnosed continuing to  behave exactly as they are diagnosed.

Then it  becomes normal and accepting. So, my weird analysis of it all is:

Why on earth are we not calling these people immoral, or, two faced????

Who is making them do these ridiculous things like selling their own religion to sell themselves?

On one hand it is okay for them to be equals as christian’s on the other it is dangerous because they have more zealots, than we do. So the argument is, who is pushing this boundary?

Plus all the begrudging words you have stored up over a period of time.

However, we use this term……

Oh he or she is so narcissistic!

Liberally dashing about a term and splashing it around people’s heads,  like a buzzing bee spelling competition. It is on the tip of the tongue and is not a swear word, or, a curse word for all the immoral things a person has done.

I am not religious nor am I a feminist, I just think there is something wrong with us. I mean seriously. We are meant to be able to tell what right and wrong is. Something, to me feels wrong. So as I continue to research and write about morals and the degradation of morals around the world. Up pops the example which fortifies my argument which I have found below.

What happened to moral decoding?

Morals are an important focus based on an individuals actions, or,  what they have said.   I just think it is weird how we have forgotten about: loyalty, honour, respect, integrity and all these lovely little values which mould us to be decent individuals.

Why did we begin to ignore the morals of a person?

I felt this topic is a bit strong but, important to see the weird point of view of our instincts do not exists any more. Why did we let our moral instincts, something which is naturally built into us as children according to social scientists?

As I read The Culture of Morality: Social Development, Context, and Conflict By Elliot Turiel (2002) I discovered a couple of things which were concrete for me. I mean, it is alright to judge people because it saves your life sometimes or most times; sometimes we make mistakes and end up paying for it more than a lifetime.

According to Turiel (2002) Morality is complex and highlights several areas. I am weird, I feel I want to help by bullet pointing these out:

• How they are formed in childhood.

• The role of judgements and emotions.

• Relations of individuals and society.

Throughout the 21st century we have seen amazing changes in terms of sociological and psychological advancements. The following social scientists researched about morality: Psychologist, Jean Piaget (1932), Sigmund Freud (1930), also,  the behaviourists John Watson (1924) and B.F Skinner (1971), finally Emilie Durkheim (1925/1961) all agreed, our morals are based on child development.

What I found even more interesting about the judgements in Morality, are based on the theory of things being fair. The moral judgements are based on:

1. Justice

2. Equality

3. Co-operation.

Is this weird and wonderful or what? I mean, our ethical judgements as children become changed. I feel a little as though our lives were hanging on a balance because we have been watching reality tv, which, they say is real but, it probably is affecting our moral judgements because we are influenced by so many interactions. Not just with our friends and family. It is probably what we think is real and we cannot tell the difference anymore perhaps.  As Turiel (2002) continues to say:

Piaget proposed a theory that children’s development is based on their interactions with others including adults and their peers. This also included:

• Societies traditions.

• Accepted practices.

then comes the notion to serve these traditions and practice them Piaget (1950/1995).

Perhaps we do not want to deal with the problems?

Maybe we just do not want to deal with the reality of calling these people, all the negative things under the sun because we know, life is really not black and white. However, politicians are meant to have some moral distinguished coding to be able to appeal to our judgements of justice and fairness. They are meant to be our voices. According to Turiel (2002) a politician by the name of Dan Quayle (1992) was arguing to the newspapers in America that a Television show had shown a lack of family values, through not showing the importance of fathers.

Quayle (1992) believed that things had become so bad that all the elites in society, intellectuals and academics where contributing to the decline by criticising traditional values.

He also stated:

“Ordinary people with their common and moral sense, stand between the elites and the underclasses in society” Quayle (1992)

On one hand I agree, the other, I feel is the lack of compassion one receives from others because they have been a victim of domestic abuse. Then there are rape victims and so on…. these are becoming the norm because, let us face it – people have lost their moral compass. They do not want to give a job to a woman who needs it. They would rather see that person starve. At what point does the moral compass switch on?

The worst thing a friend told me, was her boss became more focused on her own nails than caring for the individuals who were around her and also my friend at the time. According to my friend, she felt her bosses nails were more important, because they were too long for the job and she injured herself. However, my friend felt she was sacked based on her appearance, because she did not have nice clothes and could not afford them, rather than, her ability to do the job.

My friend highlighted she was materialistic. This is nothing to do with narcissism. This is because, the person has more money than sense and does not obviously want to do her caring role. She is focused on the wrong things. The power must have gotten to her head. This is clearly how to address issues, not by psychologically diagnosing people.

Since when did it become dangerous to tell a person, they are focused on the wrong things?

I mean, here we are in turmoil over some moral dilemmas and we cannot even tell someone truthfully they are heading down the wrong path…..

No, Satan is not going to pop out of the wood works! It’s a vit weird how all the christian people seemed to influenced by TV.  Even more so as adults, we are affected by what we see on Television.It affects our decision making and how we see the world. Perhaps Quayle (1992) is right, we are lacking the common sense due to the Kardashians, or all the  teen moms, or, jackasses, or, big brothers, or, the real housewives, series out there. All the elite who are out there clinging on to fame make these TV Shows influencing out morality.

We have been shaped by these people who are not even poor. They never, had a sense of poverty. However, they made more fortune out of their fame because they are rich. Why does this feel so 18th century tyrannical pre – French revolution?

We may have contributed to the on going morality and the moral decay. Maybe our moral judgements, also our cultural and traditional identities are at stake because we are unable to relate to these bourgeoisie on television.

Now can we tell children and adults to switch the television off?

Only 1 % of the world population has been diagnosed with Narcissism. So this means, we all have to switch off the television and look deep into our lives and ask some ethical questions or develop some techniques of critical analysis.

Waving about a passive aggressive excuse of… “this  person is narcissistic”,  is not going to help our cause to correct the morality in the world. Maybe we just need to really consciously think about the way we want our own identities to reflect how we want the world to see us. Instead of having all the moral panic on television shape our lives. The media thrive on moral panic. However, the degradation of such things do not benefit the way people feel psychologically after such onslaught.

As  Moral Panic: Who Benefits From Public Fear?Scott Bonn, Ph.D (2015) comments:

“Priming is a psychological process whereby the news media emphasis on a particular issue not only increases the salience of the issue on the public agenda, but also activates previously acquired information about that issue in people’s memories. The priming mechanism explains how the news frame used in a particular story can trigger an individual’s pre-existing attitudes, beliefs and prejudices regarding that issue. “

I feel as though we are being primed to think in a different manner and to dislike traditions. Even Quayle (1992) and Bonn (2015) have distinguished that morality link . Specifically, we are in the big brother bubble as the media play games with our anxiety which in turn does not having to think in a logical or rational manner.

So here are some examples of the media disliking muslims around the world:

 

 

 

They do this through framing according to Bonn (2015) by using certain words to heighten those fears and then finally they use folk devils, the people you are meant to fear to create chaos and hate towards a certain group:

“The media are a particularly powerful set of actors in the creation of a moral panic. Typically, news media coverage of certain events involving alleged folk devils is distorted or exaggerated. News coverage makes the folk devils appear to be much more threatening to society than they really are. Public concern and anxiety are heightened by journalistic hyperbole concerning the folk devils. Public concern and anxiety over the folk devils lead to moral panic. “

 

 

So now we have this psychological bombardment and then follows the softening approach which means they are being sold sexually. Despite it being against their moral wishes or obligations. Then the hate continues and then real issues like the environment, poverty and crime are not covered by the media.

I do not believe in social justice, or the feminist post agenda of not addressing key issues of both sexes to create equality. However,  I do believe in people making the cultural distinguishes based on where they live now. Reflecting back at the photo advert and how  the media use Priming  as a to break someone’s morals and traditions. All we heard through certain media is how they are bad. Then now they are given the term narcissistic, if a woman is pretty. Cannot win really. Let it be.

Except, when do we say this has gone to far?

I was playing an online game and the advert for Muslim women came up. I feel as though I am caught in a battle of who’s side am I on. Even if I was a christian, why would I just be so caught up in my own religion and not want to socialise with other’s?

I mean, this means the media are creating this segregation and for people to go around misdiagnosing people.

 

I do not know what else to say about moral decay. I am slightly confused at why anyone would want to attack religions. It is up to a person if they want to choose their religion. I just do not want others to force me to choose sides. Due to peoples behaviour it is really based on that moral tipping. Whether or not someone behaved correctly towards you or not. So it really does not matter about your religion. Has nothing to do with feminism. It has everything to do with the basic morals and our innate feelings.

Then if we are having these battles of morals in our minds, why not discuss the values and the morals with others?

I feel we need to  develop into better citizens in where they reside. Perhaps base your agrement on things like, whether or not we are becoming superficial. Whether or not you noticed the tabloids.

Solutions of how to combat moral decay…

Perhaps noticing which articles people place on facebook to discuss, or,  have those open discussions is better than, not noticing or feeling isolated because you have such views.

Have you not noticed what is going on in the news today?

Asking these  questions brings a person who is enticed by the media, back into reality to have a discussion. Perhaps, they are lonely and would like to have a conversation? As they keep positing selfies, or things which are media based shows which are based for teenagers. Considering they are over the age group. Perhaps you need the intellectual stimulation yourselves. Maybe they would like to be socially out there enjoying themselves and they need you to contact them. Who knows!Why not ask and then try and get them to see the world more. The moral judgements can only improve if peoples minds are open to suggestion and arguments, for and against. Try not to overwhelm the conversations and try to make it into a game of….

If we discuss things other than beauty for 5 mins, then we can go to the shops.

Try and formulate some modicum about this because fair is fair. It is irrational to force someone to think. It is good to introduce the idea to them in 5 minutes because they may be enlightened. Perhaps social media can be changed for the good. Perhaps we have the power to overthrow, the morality imbalance which has gripped the world for nearly two decades. Perhaps the power is in your weird and wonderful minds.