Letter to hormones in a weird and wonderful way

Note to self:

Dear hormones,

I don’t hate you – I feel you just make me seem crazed with alternate personalities. Could you kindly not make me out to be a super witch, or, a nymphomaniac?

I feel no one really wants to be around a person who is so flippant; this eratic nature has me up at all hours. People think I am the most insensitive person at a particular time – I just want to hide.

Being in tune with the opposite sex – it’s proven to be the wrong time for both….. just so you know…. Animals are so into me as though I am on heat; attracting dogs at a specific time of the month is just so awfully uncooth: both jumped on and humped by male dogs at the wrong time – is not only embarrassing – really, you just shouldn’t be so off putting to males of our own species; only to attract the other kind. Oh the shame of it all.

I really do not want tea and sympathy – I just wish to avoid certain situations and live with it.

I feel it is funny – it’s just not that fantastic. It’s actually quite annoying.

The body temperature changes as well… and as for craving for the worst foods known to put more love handles on your body…. oh my! Thanks; Just don’t mention it. It will be fine. (Lengthy sigh)

What’s so weird and wonderful about ovaries? You don’t need to reply hormones. My body would suffer from osteoporosis, or other problem’s.  So when I crave foods – maybe I am just topping up my bodies need for the loss of iron and vitamins. As you scream and shout inside me – bouncing off the walls of my uterus; unbearable pain as though someone was carving your insides out with a spoon. Thank you hormones- I feel invincible.

Every time I need to listen to my body I feel I really have ignored the possibility of being normal. So hormones, you shout at me and I feel like shouting back at everyone else because you have so many symptoms – it is hard to keep up.

Would I want to be a man with male hormones? No because I have two and I am having fun handling both… there is an air of optimism there, seriously, let’s think of all the positives you bring: babies and compassion. 

Thank you for making me feel irrational, weird and wonderful. 

P.S I will miss you when you leave – I would miss my woman’s clock. 
 

Weird & ₩○NdeRf#ll _____