Never discourage anyone


“Never discourage anyone… who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” – Plato

My friend, who is a lovely person – he went through hell through the loss of a loved one. Faced hardships at work and nearly lost other family members to accessive alcohol.

I asked him; ‘How do you cope?’

He said to me: ‘I just put it in a box, in
my mind and lock it up and throw away the key.Bury it so deep in the ground so it doesn’t come back.’

I further asked him, in disbelief: ‘but what if everything in the box bursts out again!’

Do you see what I ended up doing?

I let my thought’s cloud me with my own anxiety because of the amount of trauma I had faced. Therefore, I would be unable to lock the box and throw away the key in my mind because I was too anxious. I felt too overwhelmed.

I felt it was necessary to have a look at emotional and psychological abuse. A victim is often left in a state where they feel as though they are not making any progress as Help guide, (2015):

“Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and alone can be traumatic, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective facts that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.”

What are the causes of emotional or psychological trauma?

• It happened unexpectedly.

• You were unprepared for it.

• You felt powerless to prevent it.

• It happened repeatedly.

• It happened in childhood.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is one of the diagnosed psychological conditions, however, trauma can cover many including: depression, anxiety, bipolar, even cancer, bureavement or divorce or separation.

It has been proven: when you see a person who has struggled to over come a traumatic experience; they are more vulnerable to a similar situation occuring, because they are having to face things and accept their experience.
They become more withdrawn and these things are often overlooked.

I feel from this I can see the psychological and the physiological aspects trauma ensues on the body.

Emotional and psychological symptoms of trauma:

Shock, denial, or disbelief Anger, irritability, mood swings, Guilt, shame, self-blameFeeling sad or hopeless, Confusion, difficulty concentrating, Anxiety and fear, Withdrawing from others, Feeling disconnected or numb.

Physical symptoms of trauma:

Insomnia or nightmares
Being startled easily
Racing heartbeat
Aches and pains
Fatigue Difficulty concentrating
Edginess and agitation

It is not beneficial for people to have these cognitive impairments. Especially for long periods of time because the body needs to exert the pressure somewhere else. I feel as though my mind is not slow – my mind skips a beat because I am anxious. I am taking my anxiety to another level and I am accounting every physiological or anatomical feeling I have and associating it with my mood.
This is a good coping mechanism for wellbeing purposes, because you want to be able to reach your potential after such an intense experience.  You want to overcome your goals and aspirations. You don’t want to feel like it is happening to you. Like you do not value things and others. So you log those things because you overwhelm the senses.

Some will need Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to overcome their traumatic experience; this is where you break the occuring cycle in your head of negative thoughts. Others may need a little more Psychotherapy which is a series of courses of treatments where individuals are heard and then they are given methods of therapy to assist them; could be drugs or alternative therapy seek advise.

I do value my friend’s knowledge on the subject as he described the technique of Reiki (2015):

“Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by “laying on hands” and is based on the idea that an unseen “life force energy” flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s “life force energy” is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.”

Establishing the route of the problem is  connected to emotional and psychological abuse;  can be somewhat painful for the victims because it is a reoccurring pattern of abuse. They have to explain the situation and must acknowledge it happened to them. They have to take accountability or responsibility for them being vulnerable which leads to a feeling of guilt. Once the process of emotions are laid out, the information will jumbled because of the stress they have been under.

Having the knowledge in the basis of how to effectively redue the psychological feelings for other’s,  even yourself; means identifying there is a problem and how it needs to be resolved.

By acknowledging there is a problem, there needs to be a technique used to reliquish the stress and the burden: as your body is in a state of shock.

Most abusers continue their abuse and minimalise or deny it happened. So as someone who is going to listen and help someone, it is important not to Trivialise the events which have occured because the person may become more withdrawn as Leaving Abuse, (2015) states:

“Even more subtle but still dangerous is trivializing. This occurs when an abusive person tells his victim that what they think and feel are unimportant.”

Break the continual cycle by listening and making that person feel important, make them feel as though their problem is also yours and you are going to take accountability to unburden them. So you must explain what is the next procedure to help them not feel victimised.

Caring for someone and being able to empower and adding further guidance would be beneficial for all.  Most importantly make sure you take care of yourselves; the abuser may want to continue there abuse on others or make people feel inferior. Call the police if needs be. Psychology abuser is actually regarded as considerably harmful to certain individuals with mental health problem’s.

Top tip

Write about it. Make a log and detailed account so that people know. State the time and the date. Then make sure you are able to tell the relevant people: lawyers, doctors, psychologists, nurses, or any health care professional or social care professional about the event. It may be difficult because you feel numb. These documents can be shown as evidence if needs be. Know that you aren’t alone and you are able to overcome your experience.


My friend is right about the anxiety steps. It all depends on how long you have endured your trauma. Sometimes Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Psychotherapy work but some methods are based on individuals preferences. Accepting the diagnosis of a disease or an illness is another account. I have no idea how anyone who has been through an illness can be subjected to more discrimination but it happens. I feel as though parts of life are unfair but many can change the outcome of a situation by making a complaint or making sure a person is not maltreated.

Break the cycle in their mind and help them achieve their goals.

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