“Top Tip: Have a Golden Memory For Laughter!”

This is an Anonymous blog. However Weird and Wonderful would like to share the funniest Teen story which was true; it did not happen to me, but the person  has been given a different name. I may have done this for legality purposes. I need to write this in the third person,  because if I pretend to be the person and write it in first person: I would laugh too much.

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Sandra Dee was in love with her next door neighbour Lee. He was 26 years old and Sandra was 16 years old. For months she would write in her diary:

Tuesday 1st February

I saw Lee today. He has not spoken to me. I wish he would – it is nearly Valentines Day. All I want is a big card and some chocolates, but, he never notices me at all.

A couple of days later, Sandra still felt the pressure of Valentines Day approaching. As she was washing dishes looking at Lee’s back garden.
Continuing to finish her chores to impress her mother, Sandra decided to empty the bin and take the bag outside.
Walking along the fence for Lee’s house. He was also participating in chores.

Sandra said: ” Hello Lee!”

He replied back: “Hi”…

“Are your parents back from holiday?” She said boldly. Sandra was always bold and brash.

“No”.. He replied.

“So what are you doing now?” Sandra had practiced this dialogue in her head because she was infatuated with Lee.

“Nothing”…. replied Lee.

“Nor me!”… waiting for a response from Lee. “Shall I hang out with you?”

Lee replied back: “Alright!”

Then, Sandra kissed Luke and entered the whole moment in detail in her Diary.

A couple of weeks later Sandra was with friend’s and  exposed her self to a group of boys. Sandra turned around to the group of boys and lifted her top up as she walked backwards from them. One of them took a liking to her. So, she thought it would be a good idea to tell Lee about this new boy.

Lee said: “I thought you loved me!”

Sandra did not know what to say…”I do..it’s just…”

“Prove you love me and suck my phone.”

Sandra did and she wrote about it in her diary.

Days later Sandra had these spots appear around her mouth. She tried concealers and it would not work. Then the spots formed a hard layer of scar tissue on them and they would not dissappear.  Weeks later, Sandra had not seen Lee for a while. Although she had been seeing someone new – she still looked at his house in anticipation. 

After seeing all her friends one day Sandra opened the door to her home. Her mother was sat at the kitchen table with her diary.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Her mother said.

Sandra timidly replied: “No”…

“So, Lee next door gave you those spots that won’t dissappear?” Her mother actually felt like putting Sandra on the spot to make her realise something.

“What?” Replied Sandra.

“You gave him a blow job, Sandra!” Her mother exclaimed and said…. “come on! All the creams in the world would not repair a Sexually Transmitted Disease. We have to go to the sex clinic.”

So, Sandra and her mother went to the sex clinic and the spots disappeared after treatment.

The story was a bit embellished, however, for years I did not want to do anything like that with anyone because of the story. I laughed about the situation which had occured between Lee and Sandra Dee.

Sandra Dee was never really bothered about how many boys she kissed or fondled. She had hickies on her neck and wore a jumper in summer to cover her neck. Sandra Dee was all about Discovering boys. So the spots on the face never stopped her. All she wanted was some fun apparently.

There is no moral of the story. I just found it funny.   

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