Why Is Life A Drama? Part 1…

This is a post leading to discovery and a deeper understanding for people who are attracted to drama in reality. They refuse to initiate a decent response, or, fail to apologise for their bad behaviour; or, constantly in need of creating bad tension between individuals; stop at nothing to bad mouth individuals, or, go so far to invade the privacy of others: due to constantly wanting attention. 

I feel – I scratch my head sometimes about dramatic people, yes, they are amusing; always creating a scene or wanting people to react to their behaviour, just like, actors in a Soap Opera.

Granted – Made in Chelsea – have really good looking characters: they are good looking actors.

The problem, I feel is that “everyone wants to entertain us” – I feel I wanted to investigate why the fad of reality TV shows are causing many young people in the UK and America to behave in an aggressive and crazed manner, always wanting attention and always feeling the need to manipulate and control others into arguments or even invading or disrupting others lives.  I feel it is necessary to point this out to you – as I was discussing this with a friend yesterday about “overly dramatic” individuals. So, I wrote this post with a few theories.

I feel that social media is one aspect, but, really the other aspect is Drama on television.

As a mother, I feel, it is not easy looking after someone – no matter how old you are. However, sensationalism shows a weakness in our society – it also – I feel becomes socially acceptable for young women to not have their independence or even their chances to create a future because it becomes trendy or cool to be a young mom. They discover how difficult it is when it is too late.

In the UK and USA there is a fascination for these reality TV shows. I feel they are a dangerous mix of constant drama for people in real life. You do realise I am going to prove my point through psychological theories –  for justification …(Weird and Wonderful – feels the need to delve deeper!)

Now I shall introduce a theory called “The presence of self in everyday life,” by  Ervin Goffman, (1959) – according to him people are like actors trying to create a favourable impression of themselves through a script, setting, wardrobe, skills and props; there are “front stage” areas for public personas and “backstage” areas for our private lives; there is an “audience” for the performance.

No Offence to people whom act, but, there is nothing more I detest than people being an “audience” to me, when I haven’t had a drink for courage. I used to public speak, but, at the moment – I feel most in society are on a constant drama fixation and no one realises that there is no need to behave in the sensationalist manner and there is no need to constantly criticise others, as though you are “Simon Cowell”.  At times it can get you into a lot of trouble, this is if you cannot keep your private life separate from your “front stage”. Actors – occasionally get paid and Simon Cowell is rich because he exploits people. 

I feel many young people who watch these reality TV shows, tend to behave a certain way in public – actually establish the Goffman, (1959) theory. I feel they always want the drama to whirlwind around them, or, they are attracted to it.

A fundamental aspect of social interaction  is that we try to – either consciously or subconsciously – to manipulate or control the way that others perceive us. Whenever we interact with people, we present a public image of ourselves. In some instances, we maybe trying to influence a particular person; in other situations we may simply be trying to maintain a favourable image of ourselves. – Goffman, (1959).

I feel bad behaviour and constant conflict has become the norm due to television – so you end up with your real life, reality TV character from Geordie Shore, or, a real life Teen Mom who behaves like the character mother she relates to. Therefore, these people really do not know, perhaps, the Teen Mom’s are actors and they have had signed a contract to Television company to behave in a certain manner to attract audience. So really, their lives are manipulated and edited to look like that, they get paid to be dramatic and fall out with people, or, even state – at times :” it is not what happened”….

So all that heart felt emotion you see on Made in Chelsea – the stares and the whole so called tense moment between a guy and a girl; is fake….. Yes – I realise I am rather fond of those moments, but, realistically, they would have to have the camera on them at one angle and another on another – then – they film that moment and edit the shots – look closer – it would take a few more “takes”, as the camera is the close up it is not in view, of the other shots.  The character was paid a huge sum to perform the way they do.

I feel this is probably why I cannot relate to certain people. I will not see the simplicity of it all. I do see people are able to manipulate in reality, but, lately – certain things have been blown out of proportion because I feel it has affected tolerence levels, as the constant need in society for drama, increases. I feel, there is a constant need for these people to create and manipulate drama because of what they see on TV. Especially, in the UK and America.

As I delve deeper into how young people are influenced, mostly by these programmes; I feel it is fair to point out Social Learning Theory, by Albert Bandura, (1977).

According to, Bandura, (1977) people learn their behaviour through modelling. So, they see people acting and talking in different ways – we remember through observing the actions – then we mentally rehearse and then we physically reproduce ourselves through motivation.

Now, I feel I am not one of those easily lead individuals who would like to sculpt themselves into one of these celebrity creations. I feel that maybe as Bandura, (1977) suggests: firstly – you must gain attention for it to become retention; meaning memorable – then I would reproduce those actions and be motivated to do so. I feel that I do not find characters on reality TV shows favourable – so therefore, I do not relate to people who find these shows favourable and I find their actions, or, the way they model themselves – very unsavoury.

The reason why I specifically point out the UK and America have these “overly dramatic”, people is due to the influences we have and I specifically look at Bandura, (1977):

Bandura, (1977) states: Behaviour partly created the environment, and the resultant environment, in turn, influenced the behaviour.”

So, I feel when I discussed this behaviour with my friend it was because I was using comparisons to the rest of the world. As dangerous as that may seem  – media has had a lot of influence on people. When you feel like not watching soap operas, or, reality TV shows it is difficult to relate to certain  people, because they have modelled themselves subconsciously, or, conconsciously on these individuals; who are constantly perceived as ” in the spotlight.” I feel I am not really into those types of things and have not been for a while, therefore, my behaviour becomes unfavourable to the ones who love drama and like to overly sensationalise moments and also, would like to manipulate certain situations to create a “scene” or even an act of violence. I feel I am not one of those types.

Unfortunately, it is not as simple to explain to others about TV losing the attraction. I just believe my role models are different. I find them in books, or, films – this is why sterotyping people is actually in  not beneficial to society, as, we embark on a new future – our ability to see a Weird Wonderful world of innovation is really beginning to take a toll.

I feel I am not saying people are brainwashed – I feel what I am trying to establish is: that our minds are never free and they are  always controlled, or, undercontrol because we need to perform in public, as Goffman,(1959) states –

“we are constantly having a front stage” – Goffman,  (1959). 

If this be the case then our private lives are almost certain to be scruitised in the UK and America because there is no definate line of our ” backstage” as people are able to interact with us and impose their control and manipulation on us. I feel there comes a time when people need a break – simply just to stop being under pressure, or, stressed, or anxious, or, even have the time to relax because they are not always being observed.

I feel there maybe an increase of people needing constant reassurance for their behaviour – it is not healthy.

I feel I am strong minded person who will not influenced and I do not feel the need to wash my dirty linen in public.

I feel that people who do these kinds of dramatic:

she said this…..

Just relax, take a  break – switch your “front stage off” and shut up!  It is not necessary for them to be Twittering or using Facebook or you tube to display how they think another person should behave or that they did not get on with a person. It is white noise because I am not attracted to drama.

The deactivate button has been pressed on facebook, I feel no need to be dramatic about – the altercations I had with people – even if they were against ignorant people. Hence, I pressed that lovely deactivate facebook button. The drama and influence has disoppaited.

This is essentially how to ” take myself out the picture ” – my privacy also comes with the deepest respect for myself.  Others will see that I have this ability and will see I am trustworthy.  Unfortunately, the ones who like drama – will soon find out – people are avoiding them; there is only so much we can all take.

So, ultimately we are at a pinnical point in society – where drama – scenes and life are being blended by media.

Hatred has become an easy nature in the UK and America.  As our media constantly sensationalise situations and heighten the anxiety of the general public. 

It took me half a day to realise some of these fake reality TV shows are too much for me to take – I watch 5 mins and my head wants to explode. In fact, I have no idea what they are saying in Geordie Shore. I could not relate at all. No Offence but people from Newcastle are genuinely lovely people. Always helpful and make you a cuppa and call you pet…. this is nothing like an actual Geordie girl. They really are lovely people and should never be Stereotyped or thought of as crass as this show is.

Have you become an overly Dramatic individual and just noticed through this post that you are losing yourself? 

Here are 5 tips to becoming less of a overly dramatic person: 

1. Switch the TV off – change to Netflix.

2. Read more because it will help you to understand the world or others experiences, so you can develop empathy, towards: mothers, workers, and people who are actually living their lives and struggling but still smiling.

3. Make sure you do not rant or behave unsavoury towards people through social media – deactivate all accounts to prevent drama.

4. Understand when people would like you to stop talking about them because they have “let go”…. or they have a private life or they like their privacy.

Keep things dignified even for yourself. Behave in a more dignified manner. Learn to smile with them not at them.

5. Create a  different way of communicating with others instead of being bitter all the while because of not having the attention all the time. Try and find a different task or create art or different things to do. Even offer to help others who are in difficult situations without volenteering.

Volenteering is great for your C.V but it is not real. You are basically, living under that spotlight of “good”, sometimes it does not necessarily come across as “genuine”…. so offering to help with people who are struggling in daily life – turns you into a better person. It improves the quality of life for the other person and it improves the quality of your life by understanding how life works. It also increases your social circle without coming across as fake.

As I feel the stereotyping has to stop.

There are decent people in reality who really would not like to be Stereotyped or even connected to these shows.

They see the behaviour of certain individuals as crass, callous, cold – hearted, vindictive, vicious, decietful, unempathetic, undignified, inappropriate, unprofessional, indecent, conderscending, rude, impertinent, violent, fake, malicious, unsavoury, daunting, calculated, manipulative, sculpted and perhaps – depending on how big the drama develops vile. 

I feel if others had  any idea of how your behaviour really makes people feel, you would not continue. You would stop and think about your actions and find out how to help and be decent because we were not born to behave like this – we develope our personas.

It is fair to say…. if others see your reputation Is  tainted; eventually you find you are attracting the wrong types of people in your life and you ought to stop, creating drama.  Being genuine and having some nice time out is rewarding: mind, body and soul, having that understanding of others feeling the need to take time out is essential to growth. 

Albert Bandura (1977)

Ervin Goffman,(1959)